INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS
Your Team Has Been Waiting for a Captain
Your internal system didn’t fragment because something is wrong with you. It fragmented because different parts of you needed different things when everything fell apart, and none of them knew how to talk to each other.
The part still holding your athletic identity. The part that’s furious. The part that feels worthless without sport. The part that just wants to go numb. These aren’t moods or thoughts. They’re distinct protective responses that developed for good reason, and they’ve been running your internal system without a captain ever since.
If you’ve seen Pixar’s Inside Out, you already understand the concept. You’re not one monolithic person; you’re a system of different parts, each with its own perspective, emotions, and protective strategies.
When you lose your sport, these parts often fragment and conflict:
- The part that still sees yourself as an athlete
- The part that’s angry about the injury
- The part that feels worthless without sport
- The part that’s terrified of who you are now
- The part that criticizes you for not “getting over it”
- The part that just wants to numb out and not feel anything
These aren’t abstract concepts; they show up as distinct voices, body sensations, and emotional states.
IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz and is now one of the most well-researched therapeutic approaches in existence. The core premise is simple: you are not one thing. You are a system of parts, and beneath all of them is a Self that is naturally calm, curious, and capable of leading.
Here’s what working with parts looks like in a session:
We start with what’s present. Maybe you arrive angry. Maybe you arrive numb. Rather than pushing past that feeling to “get to the work,” we get curious about it. What part is this? Where do you feel it in your body? What is it trying to do for you?
We never pathologize parts. The critical voice that tells you you’re nothing without sport? That’s a part working hard to protect you from something it’s afraid of. The numb part that won’t let you feel anything? That’s a part that decided feeling was too dangerous at some point. Every part developed for a reason. We treat them all with respect.
We help parts unburden. When parts feel genuinely heard, not managed, not suppressed, they can release the roles they’ve been locked into. The angry part doesn’t have to be angry forever. The athlete identity doesn’t have to fight for survival. Parts can update.
We access Self. Beneath all the parts is your core Self: the calm, compassionate, curious part of you that exists independently of athletic achievement. You’ve always had it. Sport may have buried it. IFS helps you find it again.
How we work with parts somatically:
Instead of just talking about these parts, we locate them in your body:
- Where do you feel the “angry part”? (Maybe as heat in your chest)
- Where does the “athlete identity” live? (Maybe as tension in your shoulders)
- What does the “worthless part” feel like physically? (Maybe as heaviness in your gut)
Our collaborative approach means:
- We follow your pace and what feels right for your system
- We never force you to “let go” of part’s burdens before you’re ready
- We trust that every part, even the critical or protective ones, developed for good reason
- We help parts communicate with each other rather than suppressing “difficult” emotions
- We work toward accessing your core Self: the part of you that exists beyond athletic achievement and knows how to lead your internal system
By working with parts through body sensation rather than just thought, you can:
- Negotiate between conflicting parts (the part that wants to move on vs. the part clinging to athletic identity)
- Unburden parts that are stuck in past trauma
- Give protective parts new roles now that the original threat has passed
- Integrate fragmented aspects of yourself into a coherent post-sport identity
- Access your Self: the calm, compassionate leader of your internal system who can guide you forward
WHY ATHLETES RESPOND TO IFS
1. You already understand team dynamics IFS maps directly onto something athletes know intuitively, a team where different players have different roles, different strengths, and sometimes conflicting agendas. IFS is team management for your internal system. You’re not learning a foreign concept. You’re applying a familiar one inward.
2. It explains what talk therapy couldn’t If you’ve ever understood exactly why you feel a certain way and still couldn’t change it, that’s because the part carrying the feeling wasn’t reached by the explanation. IFS reaches the parts directly, not just the understanding of them.
3. It doesn’t ask you to suppress anything Athletes are masters of suppression. Push through. Ignore it. Tough it out. IFS does the opposite, it says every part deserves to be heard. Counterintuitively, this is what allows parts to actually change. You can’t negotiate with something you’re busy suppressing.
4. It works with your body, not just your mind We locate parts somatically: as heat in your chest, tension in your shoulders, heaviness in your gut. For athletes wired to process through physical sensation, this is immediately accessible. You don’t have to find the right words. You just have to notice what your body is already doing.
5. It rebuilds identity from the inside out Athletic identity is externally constructed, built on performance, achievement, and others’ recognition. IFS rebuilds identity from the inside, through relationship with your own parts and access to your Self. This is the only kind of identity that survives the end of sport.
THE SCIENCE BEHIND IFS
IFS is not a fringe approach. It’s listed on SAMHSA’s National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs, and research supports its effectiveness for trauma, depression, anxiety, and identity disruption.
The neuroscience behind it is straightforward: different emotional states activate different neural networks. When parts are in conflict, these networks are literally competing for dominance, which is why you can feel pulled in opposite directions simultaneously and why logical understanding rarely resolves it.
IFS works by creating communication between these networks rather than trying to eliminate or override any of them. When parts feel safe enough to unburden, the nervous system reorganizes around a more integrated state. This isn’t metaphorical. It’s physiological.
We use IFS somatically, meaning we locate parts in your body rather than just your thoughts. Body sensation is the fastest access point to parts because parts live in the body, not just the mind. Where do you feel the angry part? Where does the grief live? This body-based approach is what makes IFS reach what talk therapy couldn’t.
Your parts have been working hard to protect you.
It's time to give them a captain.
Frequently Asked Questions
How does IFS work with NET?
They complement each other naturally. NET releases the physiological charge stored in your nervous system. IFS works with the parts that were organized around that charge. Often we’ll use NET to release a stuck pattern and then use IFS to understand which part was carrying it and help it update. Together they address both the body and the internal system simultaneously.
What if I can't identify my parts?
You don’t need to identify them intellectually. We start with what you notice in your body: a sensation, a tightness, an impulse. The part is already there. We just follow what your body shows us.
Do I have to talk about my past in detail?
No. IFS doesn’t require you to narrate your history. We work with what’s present in the moment; what parts are here right now, what they’re feeling, what they need. The past comes up only when parts are ready to share it.
What is Self and how do I know when I'm in it?
Self has specific qualities: calmness, curiosity, compassion, clarity, courage, creativity, connectedness, and confidence. You’ve experienced it, moments of being completely present, grounded, and capable. IFS helps you access that state more consistently and lead from it.
Ready to Meet Your Parts?
Reach out with questions or book your first session. We’ll get back to you within 24 hours.
